8 Benefits of Asking Questions instead of Giving An- swers By: Jane Bluestein, Ph.D.
- Questions help your child explore dimensions of a problem.
- Questions help your child explore his available options.
- Questions help your child identify his goals and intentions.
- Questions draw solutions from your child.
- Questions communicate your trust in your child’s ability to solve a problem.
- Questions place the responsibility for finding a solution on your child.
- Questions allow you to help your child anticipate probable out- comes of various choices and help him evaluate the choice he has.
- Questions build confidence and independence in problem solving.
The process of asking instead of telling puts you in the role of facilitator or guide rather than res- cuer. It helps build skills and confidence your child can rely on when an adult isn’t around to tell him what to do.
Love and Logic Tip: “If we don’t allow our children to make mis- takes, and then live with the consequences, we are really “stealing” val- uable learning experiences from them. Today’s mistakes – forgetting to finish their homework, or leaving their lunch at home – are bargains compared to what mistakes may cost as they grow older”.
Child: “John and Abe never play with me at recess!”
Parent or Teacher: “I bet that really hurts. How do you think you’re going to work that out?”